Cause Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be Alright

“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” – Matthew 6:27

Worry can be a powerful overshadowing force if we fall accustomed to its reign over our lives. For many years I found myself ruled by such a force, clinging to my own control, often leading to feelings of insufficiency and helplessness. Growing up with your everyday needs met without blatant intervention from God makes it easy to form a theology that you are the provider of your own life. That’s a lot of pressure for someone with so little control over what actually happens in this world. We are not good at playing god. I am not a good god, I knew that, but it took me years to truly believe it.

This past Sunday our team was asked to share a testimony at one of our ministry’s church branches. The sermon focused on the end of Matthew 6 and I was given the opportunity to relate the topic to my own journey. It brought me back to my years of worry, my years of self reliance. I find comfort in control. I like feeling capable and I enjoy adorations of wisdom that often come with personal successes. I think that’s a pretty common temptation across humanity. My personal battle with worry is very closely tied to those idols in my life. As I fight worry with my own abilities, I find myself falling short and choose to focus on my inadequacy and deem myself to be “not enough.” What an example of the chain of lies that can so easily consume our identity. Fear leads to worry, which leads to autotheism, which leads to either boasting or inadequacy, which leads to improper understanding of identity. 

I recognized that living in worry was not healthy, but I chose to appoint myself divine over my life and attack worry with self provision. In order to get rid of worry, I had to make enough money, have enough friends, and make a good plan for my future so there wasn’t even room for worry to exist. It worked, on surface level, but a stress brewed beneath my surface with a worry that named my identity as a fraud and not enough. I could appear in control, worry free, but my soul was far from it. I saw the evil of worry, but I chose to pacify it with my own strength rather than surrender it to the God of provision, the God in control. 

I am here on the race in defiance of the power of worry. It is an active step towards God in that battle of my life. On the outside I was secure, educated, financially stable, surrounded by a healthy community, housed, fed, and eagerly following God. But, worry remained a strong influence in how I lived my life. The best way I could think to take myself out of the role of god in my battle with worry, was to surrender the life I had made for myself. So here I am, homeless, unemployed, not in control, and filled with complete awe and adoration of the one and only God. The cure for worry is so clearly not my own mental strength and provision, but total surrender to Yahweh Yireh, the God who sees and provides.

“And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? – Matthew 6:30

Thank you God for being the safest refuge, the best provider, and the most gracious father.